Internally, Mentally, & Emotionally Torn

I’ve been torn for quite a while now, but lately it’s sprung up here and there again particularly at night. Why am I so torn? Maybe it’s because of my indecisiveness, that I really don’t know what I should be doing overall. I know I’m supposed to really only care about my own happiness, but whenever I see someone especially a friend of mine get really upset it makes me sad. I want to try my best to help them but some people seem insistent on either not taking my advice or just not reading anything at all because they are just so frustrated and every other emotional applicable. Again, I could just not care at all and forget about the situation, but it’s really not that easy. There are two huge factors that come into play when it comes to my personality.

First off, even when I’m happy about something it always kills me on the inside when someone’s visibly upset about something. Second, since I’m so damn congenial and optimistic I always think that there’s a way to make someone’s life better. However, on the downside I know that people have rights including the right to be upset for a long time. That’s something I can’t handle, but it’s something I just have to accept. However, while I do try to forget about it and move on, internally I’m just unwilling to accept it.

For those of you who watch the show Supernatural, you’re definitely going to know what I’m talking about. Even if you don’t watch it, don’t worry. It’ll still make sense. The Winchester’s theme was always “saving people, hunting things, the family business”. There were times when the two brothers felt like they couldn’t save anyone at all. Currently in its ninth season, in one of the previous episodes Dean continued to reiterate how he wanted to save his brother so badly and couldn’t let him die but Sam insisted that he shouldn’t have been saved at all.

The Winchester Family Business Motto Fan Art via Twicsy.

In my case, “saving people” would basically mean saving them from their negative thoughts and trying to prevent them from thinking increasingly negatively in the future. We all know what happens when their thoughts start going further downhill. I don’t want that to happen, and neither do they. However, what bothers me is that it seems like they’ve just given up on any hope altogether to make things right again. They feel like they’re so hopeless and helpless deep inside that they think they’re permanently trapped in this torturous mental prison of theirs. In my opinion, it cabe helped, but is it really worth it? Are some people meant to feel this way? I’ll talk about my beliefs on fate and destiny in a future column, but whether or not these answers remain solved or unsolved or if the answers are right in front of me, I’ll have to see for myself.

Here’s a song that I’m sure most of us can relate to. Hopefully, this tune is familiar to you:

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